"When you get the oppurtunity to get even with the one who wronged you and you didn't take it, then you're over him. If not, you're not yet over him..."

"Forgive him not for him but for yourself..." (Because when you don't forgive him, he has the power over you...)


- Diary of a Mad Black Woman

These were the few (but not exact) lines that struck me while watching Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It is about love, forgiveness and finding yourself again. I'm not a movie critic but I enjoyed watching this movie because of the i-can-relate-to-that lines.

***
Not too long ago, I discovered that God really listen to your petition no matter how hard it is. It's just a matter of faith. And your willingness to obey. He find ways to communicate with you in any form, shape or size. It's just up to you on how to "read" or "acknowledge" His reply to you. Sana noon ko pa 'to na-experience...para hindi na dumami yung pagkakamali ko. But I'm still thankful for all that was...if not for them I wouldn't know and accept Jesus.

***
Mwah!

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hurt to trust not only me but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

--Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

I've been hummin this song for the past couple of days. Siguro last song syndrome? Nah. Masyado lang syang sakto sa gusto kong sabihin sa isang tao for so many years now. Pero alam ko kahit kailan hindi ko na masasabi. Not that he's no longer around ( I could always use e-mail 'no!) but I already let go of the heartache caused by his indecisiveness. And letting go of the pain never erased the memories. I just learned to accept it. Of course the hard way.

...I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart couldn't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with...

I've always been thankful to God for giving(or lending) me a 'smiley' face. The smile that I would always wear in front of everybody. Kahit pangit nararamdaman ko. Especially whenever he was around. But that was eons of years ago. Now, I still wear the same smile but this time it agrees with my heart. Masaya na 'ko.

I will not make the same mistake that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far...

Sana masaya ka na rin ngayon.

Lord,Thank You for letting me be wronged, so that I can know the complete joy and compassion of forgiveness.